Here’s How to Get Him Back if You Cheated On Him

By David Coates

If you cheated on your ex, and you now want him back, you’ve come to the right place to find out what to do. This is a very popular subject on this site, and I’ve got a lot of great, in-depth stuff for you.

The great news is… over the past twenty-nine years… I’ve helped over one hundred and seventy women get their ex’s back into their lives… and I can tell you with one hundred per cent certainty…

You Can Get Him Back into Your Life

I’ve seen it happen… over and over again. In this article… I’m going to tell you how other women have got their ex’s back… after they cheated.

Before I tell you what you need to do… you first need to understand why the average person cheats. You know why you cheated, but let me tell you why other people cheat.

First, there is a big difference between the reasons why men cheat, and women cheat.


A friend once said to me…

“A man is only as faithful as his options…”

Which means a wealthy good looking man will get more offers for sex than an ugly poor man, so he is more likely to cheat.

But… if a man is getting regular sex at home, he won’t feel the need to cheat.

Men cheat simply because we feel horny. In our minds, our sexual thoughts are mixed up with our non-sexual thoughts. Women tend to compartmentalise their minds… which means they keep their sexual thoughts separate from their non-sexual thoughts.


Usually, women cheat because their emotional needs aren’t been met. Women need to feel loved, wanted, desired… women love romance because it makes you feel special. Men tend not to understand this.

When a woman’s emotional needs are ignored, she will find someone else to satisfy them, and she will sometimes give sex to whoever is satisfying them.


You can’t let yourself feel guilty for cheating on him, nor can you regret doing it. You probably did hurt him… but beating yourself up over it will only make yourself feel bad and un-happy… and these emotions won’t help get him back into your life.

You see, monogamy is un-natural. Basic human nature is all about survival and reproduction. Everything we do in our lives is aimed at surviving or reproducing. That’s why we experience fear… to aid our survival. That’s why the sex urge is so strong, so we can reproduce.

Both survival and reproduction ensure the Human Race doesn’t become extinct.

When it comes down to it, we are all driven by these two urges, so don’t dwell on what you did… instead… focus on getting him back into your life.

Do some soul searching

In this section, I’m going to give you something to actually do in the real world. Yipee!

There must have been some reason you cheated on him, so think about what this reason was. Be completely honest with yourself and decide why you did it.

Now, write this reason down, and also, write down all the qualities you DIDN’T like about your ex. The reason why I’m asking you to do this… we all have selective memories. Nobody remembers any event with complete accuracy. We only remember bits of what happened.

So… with regard to your old relationship… you will only really remember the good times, and blank out the bad times. If you cheated on him because he wasn’t satisfying your emotional or physical needs, do you really want him back in your life?

Writing this list will help you decide.

After you have written this list, and you still want him back… please carry on reading.

Relax About Your Breakup

I’m going to be honest with you here… if you cheated on your ex and he broke up with you because of that… getting him back into your life may not be easy. You will meet resistance as you work at re-gaining his trust.

I’m telling you this because I want you to be prepared for this.

Here’s what to do…

First, you have to step back for a while. You have most likely heard of the thirty day no contact rule. You must not have any contact with him in any way for thirty consecutive days. No texting, ringing him up etc…

Really… this no contact period should last ninety days… but most people can’t hold out that long… so thirty days will be ok. I know you want to call him up and try to patch things up… but you have to give him time to accept what’s happened, and let him deal with his feelings.

Right now he feels angry and hurt, trying to talk and reason with him will be almost impossible.

Have you ever been cheated on? I have, and trust me when I tell you this… it really hurts. I not only felt betrayed… I also felt like I wasn’t good enough for her… or anybody else. My self-esteem took a real battering.

Also, believe me when I tell you that men are not tougher than women… and we don’t heal faster. We are emotionally weaker than women are.

Because women are more emotional than men, you know how to deal with your emotions. Men struggle with their emotions, so it takes longer for a man to heal.

The thirty day rule does these three things:

(a) Gives him some time to cool down and heal.

(b) Gives you time to evaluate and decide if you do really want him  back.

(c) Gives your ex time to feel a little bit antsy about your not calling  him up to shower him with apologies…

Here’s what to say to your ex

When the time comes for you to get back in touch with your ex… what do you say?

First, do not apologise to him. This is the worse way to start, because he won’t believe you, and it isn’t enough. Your actions have to show remorse… not your words.

Do not allow yourself to feel guilty about what you did. Guilt is for losers, and doesn’t empower you to get him back. Remorse though… is where you understand what you did… and want to make amends.

To contact your ex, start with text messages. This is because…

(a) Nobody can get drawn into an argument through text messages.  Just stop texting it the conversation gets too heated.

(b) Texting is private and non-committal. It’s the best way to contact  him.

(c) Best of all… it gives you and him time to think before each  message.

Ringing up your ex or talking to him about this face to face is a big no no, because it’s too soon. First… you have to earn the right to speak to him. Then… you slowly send him text messages… each one designed to slowly improve his opinion of you, to the point where he will feel comfortable actually talking to you.

If you don’t know what to say in your text messages… read this if you haven’t already done so.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Permanently

How to Earn His Trust Again

Since I’m a man… I can tell you exactly what you need to do to earn back his trust. I call it the WOW factor. Years ago, after an ex cheated on me, and I ditched her… I saw her out… and she looked GREAT. I still had the bad feelings towards her (and myself)… but I couldn’t help but focus on her beautiful she looked.

I know this sounds pretty shallow, but men don’t choose to look or stare at beautiful women… it’s just an automatic reaction we have little control over.

You see, men are typically very visual. We respond to what we see, where women tend to respond to what you hear… which is why women tend to like men who “whisper sweet nothings into her ears…”

Your goal is to break his state, and to insert trust, into the gap.

Here’s what I  mean.

Have you ever had the experience when you are thinking about something, and the phone rings, and after the call… you can’t remember what it was you were thinking about?

The reason you couldn’t remember… is because the phone broke your state.

So, his ‘state’ towards you is negative. You have to break that, and turn it to positive.

Building trust with him again may take some time, so don’t expect quick results.

You break his state with your actions. First, whom ever it was you slept with, you have to cut him out of your life. If you don’t, you will have a tough time getting your ex back. You must also somehow communicate to your ex that you have removed him from your life. This shows to your ex you are feeling remorse over what you did.

Next, each time you go out with friends, if there is going to be a male in the group, tell your ex beforehand. Otherwise, he may think you are sleeping with that guy.

Lastly, if you ever go out with a man, just as friends… make sure you tell your ex beforehand, for the same reason.

I know this is going to be a real pain, but, if you want your ex back, you have to communicate to him that you are committed to getting him back into your life, and you have to break his state. You have to break his negative opinion of you… and replace it with a positive opinion… and this is best done by your actions.

Here’s what to do now

First… download a copy of my Case Study… where you will discover how my ex-girlfriend Sarah got me back after six months apart.

You will also discover how to get the very important first date with your ex-boyfriend… where he wants to meet up with you. Even if you have already met up with him since your break-up… he most likely wasn’t ready to crawl through broken glass to see you.

This case study shows you how to make him WANT to see you again.


Next… after your successful first date… you must escalate from meeting for a simple cup of coffee and a chat… to dating him again. You do this by…

Changing how he feels about you…

I’ve got a simple four step system for you to copy… which is based on how my ex Sarah got me back into her life.


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