Using Male Psychology To Get Your Ex-
By David Coates
Have you ever noticed that some women always seem to have total success with men… where other women don’t?
Over the past twenty-
The one primary difference between women who are successful with men… and those who aren’t... is… understanding male psychology. In this article… I’m going to tell you the exact male psychology you must know… to get him back into your arms… and your life.
Women who are successful with men haven’t read loads of books on psychology… they just notice what works and what doesn’t work… and just stick to what works.
So… understanding male psychology is THE most powerful tool you can have… when it comes to getting your ex-
The content in this article comes the many many conversations I’ve had with women over the years… my own observations… and the uncountable number of books I’ve read on relationships and psychology.
What Is Male Psychology?
To a lot of people… psychology is a load of mumbo-
Male psychology is simply the difference between male and female thinking. We all assume that other people are pretty much like us… that’s why we don’t always understand other people… because other people are NOT like you.
I’ve broken this article up into seven sections… to make it easy to read…
Part one: The six most common types of men.
Part two: What your ex thinks about you right now.
Part three: What a man wants from a relationship with a woman.
Part four: The irresistible woman.
Part five: Male psychology and silence.
Part six: How to talk to your ex.
Part seven: Ex boyfriends realize too late.
At a glance these may not sound like they have anything to do with male psychology… that’s because I haven’t used any fancy words or jargon… just plain simple English.
Part One: The Six Most Common Types of Men
There are lots of ways to classify men… for this article… I’ve chosen what I believe are the six most common types of men.
1 – The Bad Boy
2 – Mr Commitment Phobe
3 – Mr Super Committed
4 – The Pickup Artist
5 – The Controller
6 – The Egomaniac
I’ll start with the first…
The Bad Boy
The bad boy isn’t a man who rides a motorbike, wears leather and lives life on the edge… the bad boy has the following qualities…
1 – He has lots of self-
2 – He doesn’t really care what other people think of him
3 – He sometimes says the wrong thing and tells hurtful or inappropriate jokes
4 – He is usually selfish
5 – He comes across as uncaring
6 – He acts like a teenager with regard to his love life
7 – He says hurtful things to you
The bad boy has lots of good traits and bad traits. What you need to decide is… can you live with his bad traits?
Most bad boy’s don’t mean the hurtful things they say… a bad boy acts like a bad boy because… he is afraid of getting close to another person.
The hurtful comments are there to push other people away if they get too close emotionally.
This is something I would do when I was younger. Whenever a girl got too close to me emotionally… I would always fire off a hurtful comment. I never meant to upset her… it was just my automatic reaction.
To my amazement… I discovered women weren’t put off by that. At first it caused problems… but it didn’t take long for her to accept that as ‘normal’.
Most bad boy’s are pretty soft inside… the bad boy attitude is just a shell. If you crack through the shell… you will discover his true personality… and he will deeply love you.
Mr Commitment Phobe
The Commitment Phobe is a similar type of person. Most men who are afraid to commit… (yes, I openly admit I have the fear of commitment) have nothing wrong with them… they have either been badly hurt in a past relationship and shy away from commitment…
Or… like me… they back away when a woman get too emotionally close. Instead of acting like the bad boy… we do other silly things… like breaking up with you…
By breaking up with you… we don’t have to commit to you!
Like the bad boy… if you help him overcome his fear of commitment… he will love you deeply.
Mr Super Committed
This type of man is the opposite of the Commitment Phobe. Instead of been afraid of committing to you… he REALLY wants to commit to you.
This type of man is likely to be the jealous and possessive type of man. He is secretly afraid of been alone… and usually… when a relationship goes bad… he is the one who gets dumped.
He is likely to be very intense emotionally… and if you don’t match his level of intenseness… he will feel insecure and accuse YOU of not been committed to the relationship.
To deal with this type of man… you have to learn how to deal with his insecurities. Usually he will be aware of his insecurities… so you just need to give him lots of reassurance.
The Pickup Artist
Some women refer to the Pickup Artist as a player or a ladies man. His life pretty much revolves around women… and his primary goal in life is to sleep with as many women as will let him.
The pickup artist is very similar to the super committed… in so far as he is secretly afraid of been alone… so he keeps as many women around him as he can... and struggles to focus on just one woman.
If your ex is a pickup artist… you must become the irresistible woman… to get him back.
The only real question is… do you really want him back?
A relationship with a pick up artist can work… and he can be faithful to you… but can you keep his attention focused on you?
Remember… he is secretly afraid of been alone. You must make yourself such an important part of his life… he doesn’t want to leave you.
You know the type. He reads all your text messages… all your e-
Like the super committed and the pickup artist… the controller is also secretly afraid of been alone. He keeps close tabs on you… because he is afraid of losing you.
To have a successful relationship with this type of man… you must figure out how to deal with his fears of losing you. He needs constant reassurance.
The good thing about this type of man is… he is unlikely to ever leave you. You will have to do something pretty bad… to lose him.
But then… getting him back is pretty easy… because these men are pretty loyal.
As his name suggests… this man is all about ego. He is selfish and shallow… and tends to date women based on their looks. He works out a lot, dresses as well as he can… and always wants the biggest, the best, the fastest etc… He always wants to control the conversation, talks about himself a lot and likes having other people around him.
The Egomaniac is secretly afraid of not been worthy of good enough. He must always compare himself to others… and feels bad if he doesn’t win.
He is very insecure and needs constant compliments and reassurance to fend off his egotistical tendency’s.
He also has pretty low self-
What If Your Ex Doesn’t Match Any of These?
Some men will have qualities of two or more of the type’s of men I’ve talked about above. If this describes your ex… that’s good for you… because you have more approaches to get him back.
Part Two: What Your Ex Thinks About You Right Now
Now I’m going to tell you what you ex is likely to be thinking about you right now. I’m not a mind reader… but… after well over one hundred conversations with both male and female friends… both men and women feel exactly the same after a break up.
He Will Feel Angry…
… after the break up. We all use anger to deal with hurt.
If I say something to you that hurts you… you are likely to get angry with me because of what I said. Both men and women do this… It’s just how we deal with pain and upset.
So… regardless of who finished with whom… he will feel hurt… so he will feel anger towards you because from his point of view… you are the cause of his pain.
Both men and women struggle to deal with rejection… and we have our own way to cope with it. My way is to bury my head on the sand and say…
“Oh well… shit happens…”
And I pretend it doesn’t bother me… when really it does. Then I just focus on other things until the pain goes away.
Both men and women in the relationship tend to believe they are the best the other person has had. Not just with regard to sex… but all aspects of a relationship.
So… after your break up… he will be recalling all the nice things he did for you… and then remembering all the bad things you did to him… and using that as an excuse for been angry at you.
Since his anger toward you has no real basis… he has to create one.
A Quick Note on Cheating…
If you cheated on your ex… could he ever forgive you?
To answer this question look at it another way. If he cheated on you… could you ever forgive him?
Most men and women would answer NO… to that question… but…
What if you went to his house after he cheated on you to pickup your stuff. You are throwing your clothes into your bag… and he then explains why he cheated on you.
“Look… I know you’re angry with me but listen. I won $10 million on the lottery a few days ago. When I found out I’d won I went to the bar… got drunk… and I foolishly told a woman I’d won. Next thing I know… I’m buying her drinks… then were in bed.”
“I’ve no idea why I did what I did… and I’m sorry for what I did… and I’m never going to drink like that ever again. I didn’t tell you any of this before because I didn’t want you to forgive me just because I’m now rich. I want you to take me back because you understand my mistake… and because before I screw up… we were happy together.”
Wouldn’t you at least stop and think… before deciding what to do?
Cheating isn’t always a killer… it depends on why it happened.
Anger Soon Fades Away…
When you are in a relationship… it isn’t easy to see the big picture. When you are on the outside… looking in to someone else’s relationship… you can see things they can’t. We’ve all heard a friend say…
“I can’t believe I didn’t see that about him”
“How could I have been so foolish?”
So right now… if your ex is angry towards you… don’t worry… it’s only temporary. As an outsider looking in… I can tell you with one hundred per cent certainty… his anger will fade away. Have you ever been permanently angry at anybody?
Neither have I. Doesn’t matter why he is angry… when he calms down… he will become more rational again.
Part Three: What a Man Wants From a Relationship with a Woman
The most common question I’m asked about men is… what does a man want from a relationship with a woman?
The answer is… ‘there is no one simple answer to this question’. Just like there isn’t a simple answer to the question what does a woman want from a relationship with a man.
There are things we all want… sex… companionship… etc…
But specific people have specific needs the other person has to fulfil. If the other person doesn’t fulfil those needs… you will simply lose interest in that person… and find someone who will satisfy those needs.
If you want to have a successful relationship with a man… YOU have to figure out what HIS needs are… and fulfil them. Otherwise he will lose interest in you.
I will tell you a few things though.
Most men are not afraid of commitment. Some are… the Pickup Artist sleeps around because he wants a woman in his life… but is afraid to open up to her. Deep down he is afraid of trusting other people.
To get a pickup artist to commit to you… he has to feel like he can trust you. Only then… will he commit.
If a man will not commit to you… it’s because he isn’t sure about you. He isn’t sure things are going to work out… so he holds back.
Other men struggle to commit… because of something that’s happened in the past.
Because of my stutter… I’ve always struggled to open up to people. When I wanted to… I couldn’t. So I grew up creating the impression that I was afraid of committing to a girl. Even today… despite the fact I’ve almost conquered my stutter… I still have the habit of not opening up… which my girlfriend finds most frustrating.
Part Four: The Irresistible Woman…
As people… we are all drawn to the things we cannot have.
Years ago… a friend of mine was taking an exam to become a personal trainer. The practical part of the exam… he had to instruct a ‘client’ how to use the equipment in the gym. I played the part of the ‘client’.
Anyway… before the practical started everybody taking the exam (about ten people) we were all sat around a table in this big room. I didn’t have my glasses on so I couldn’t see the other people clearly. But I did notice the was only one girl in the room... and she had a great body.
After about fifteen minutes… I noticed that this girl appeared to be looking at me.
Been the healthy male I am… I assumed that she liked me. Then I realised she didn’t necessarily like me.
All the other men in the room were looking at her and giving her the attention she was accustomed to getting... except me.
So this girl was thinking to herself…
“What’s his problem? Is he married? Is he gay?”
Because she couldn’t have me… I captured her attention.
How to Become Irresistible to Your Ex-
Given that you have split up with your ex… how can you make him want you?
If you were an irresistible woman before you split up… you need to recall what it was that attracted him to you.
In all relationships… an irresistible woman will at some point lose her status as ‘irresistible’. What you need to do to recover is… remember what it was about you that gave you that status in his eyes…
Think back to the beginning of the relationship and recall what it was that attracted him to you. Whatever it was… this is your starting point. You have to focus on those qualities about you… and remind him of those qualities.
If you were never an irresistible woman in his eyes… you must think back to your relationship… and recall what you did and said that annoyed him or turned him off.
Once you figure this out… remove those behaviours from your life.
Part Five: Male Psychology and Silence…
Most men believe they are the best boyfriend you have ever had. We believe this… because it flatters our ego. The same applies to women. Have you ever thought that one of your boyfriends ex-
Men who don’t believe this have low self-
Now… during a relationship… couples text each other most days… and you reply almost as soon as you get the text message. What happens if you don’t get a reply a quickly as you usually do?
Most people will be at least a bit concerned.
How would you feel after two weeks of this… his not replying to your text’s as quickly as usual?
Most women would be very concerned.
We men are the same.
Not replying to text’s quickly is the same as silence… it makes men feel concerned… and when the reply finally arrives… we feel very happy.
This is why the no contact rule works so well. He wonders why you aren’t contacting him… and when you finally do… he feels very good about it.
Another reason why silence and the no contact rule works so well… is because we all hate to be ignored.
It makes you feel like you aren’t important enough to the other person… for them to talk to you. It also makes you think that the other person feels they are so far above you… and you are so far beneath them… you aren’t worthy of attention.
So… when you do finally talk to them… they feel good… because they feel worthy.
Part Six: How to Talk to Your Ex-
I’m now going to tell you some of the facts I have discovered… on how you should talk to your ex-
For most women… talking to an ex can make you feel un-
It is this worry and fear which makes you feel awkward and un-
Given that this page is all about male psychology… I’m going to tell you what your ex is thinking… when you talk to him.
How to Annoy a Man With Text Messages…
Imagine you spend a few minutes thinking how to word a text message… you send it… and you get a one word reply.
That is the quickest way to annoy a man with a text message. We hate getting one word replies. It makes us feel that we aren’t worthy enough for you to spend a few more seconds to write a longer reply.
Every text message you send to a man must be interesting. You must make him feel like he is worthy of your time… the time it takes you to send a longer message.
The Two Laws of Text Messaging Your Ex…
I can’t tell you exactly what to say in a text… because I don’t know you… or your situation.
But… I can tell you two principles I would call laws… because if you break them… your messages will be much less effective.
These two principles let you gauge how interested in you… your ex is.
1 – Response time – How quickly you respond to each other’s texts.
2 – Word count – the number of words in your texts and his texts.
These may seem like irrelevant facts… but trust me… after twenty-
This is how quickly you respond to his messages… and how quickly he responds to yours.
Your goal is to respond to his messages a bit slower than he responds to yours. If… part way through a good text message conversation… you don’t reply for five minutes… he will be sat there eagerly waiting for your reply.
This is exactly what you want…
Short messages imply you aren’t really bothered. Long messages imply you are bothered. The longer your messages… the more interested you are in him. The longer his messages… the more interested he is in you.
Your goal is to manipulate the text message conversation… so his word count… is usually greater than yours.
Don’t do this with each and every text… just with most texts.
Part Seven: Ex-
I remember… about seven years ago… I had a friend called Carly. She was only seventeen years old… and had just broken up with her boyfriend. She desperately wanted him back… and asked me what she should do.
I knew her ex pretty well… so I told her the truth.
“Why do you want him back? He’s a total looser.”
She wasn’t too happy with me… but after I explained why he was a looser… she kinda understood.
Being young and attractive… she moved on and found a new boyfriend.
About three months after this… in conversation… she told me that her ex (the loser)… had been texting her… and he wanted her back.
I knew exactly why this happened.
Because… three months after the break up… he realised what a mistake he had made letting her go. In his mind… Carly was the Irresistible Woman.
We men sometimes do not appreciate our girlfriends… and take them for granted… just like he did.
Then… when we realise our mistake… we want to correct it.
That’s why it’s important for you to never give up on getting YOUR ex back… and it’s important for you to do something quickly… to get him back into your life.
The sooner you start the process of getting him back… sooner you will be able to feel how warm… comfortable and safe… you feel been held in his arms again…
Here’s what to do now
First… download a copy of my Case Study… where you will discover how my ex-
You will also discover how to get the very important first date with your ex-
This case study shows you how to make him WANT to see you again.
DOWNLOAD CASE STUDY NOW
Next… after your successful first date… you must escalate from meeting for a simple cup of coffee and a chat… to dating him again. You do this by…
Changing how he feels about you…
I’ve got a simple four step system for you to copy… which is based on how my ex Sarah got me back into her life.
DOWNLOAD COFFEE TO DATING NOW
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