Making Your Ex-Boyfriend Chase YOU

By David Coates

Getting your ex-boyfriend to chase you… is a one of the most important tools to help you get him back into your life.

This is because… getting him back into your life can be emotionally exhausting… and you don’t want to be starting a new relationship with him thinking you are going to be doing all the work.

A successful happy relationship must be fifty fifty… or as close to that as you can get.

For obvious reasons… getting him to chase you isn’t something you can do quickly and easily… yet.

I spent about three days writing this article for you… and it’s based on everything I’ve learned over the past twenty-nine years of helping around one hundred and seventy women get their ex’s back.

I also wrote this article… because it makes you feel sooo good inside… when your ex begins to chase you… I want you to have that feeling.

If you are doing all the chasing… you don’t feel good. You feel unwanted… undesired. These bad feelings stop you from getting him back into your life. When you get him to chase you… it gets much easier to get him back into your life.

My aim is to give you the most important rules to follow… if you want him to chase you.

This is a pretty long article… and I’ve gone into a lot of detail… and I promise you every word of it is worth reading.

Can You Get Him Back if He Chases You?

In most cases… yes… but on rare occasion it won’t.

Some breakups are permanent. All you can do is give it your best shot… if you get him back…. great. Otherwise you have to move on.

I spent fifteen weeks creating this website to tell you how to do exactly that… how to give it your best shot… how to get him back into your life.

If you want a complete guide on how to get him back… click here.

Text your ex back

Think Logically

I’m a very left-brained type of guy… so I’m very logical and analytical. This means I’m good at solving problems (Part of the reason why people always talk to me about their problems).

Anyway… over the years I’ve noticed that when a man is chasing a woman… usually the woman is more left-brained than average.

(The left part of the brain is typically for logic and analysis, the right side of the brain is typically for emotion, feeling, empathy. We all use both sides of the brain… but we all have a bias… left or right).

Right-brained women don’t get chased as much as left-brained women.

Same applies to the type of woman who actually succeeds in getting her ex back. Usually it’s the left-brained less emotional woman who succeeds.

Now… if you are a right-brained type of woman… this doesn’t mean you should give up… just means you’ve got a little more work to do.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said to a female friend…

“Calm down and be patent… “

And a few days later she says to me…

“Dave… I really screwed up big time. Let me tell you what happened…”

As she is talking I think to myself…

“Well, if you had followed my suggestion and calmed down… this wouldn’t have happened”

So, the first rule when it comes to getting your ex to chase you… is you must think logically. Try your very best not to become too emotional.

One thing I noticed about women very early on is… women tend to be more relationship focused than men. This is why women tend to get more emotional when a relationship breaks up… than a man does.

There’s nothing wrong with this… but it doesn’t help you if you want a man to chase you.

No man wants a woman chasing after him… tears streaming down her face…

“I need you in my life…” waaaaa

An exaggerated example… but you know what I mean.

From a man’s point of view… an overly emotional woman is unstable and not girlfriend marriage material.

How to Apply Logic to Getting Him Back

Now you know that being overly emotional makes you un-attractive to men… let me tell you this.

Most women I speak to about getting their ex back… are not thinking logically when they initiate contact with their ex-boyfriend.

They are so focused on how bad they feel without him in their life… so focused on their feelings… they can’t think straight… and become overly emotional about the whole break up.

This destroys the path you must follow… to getting him back.

I know exactly what it feels like… to want someone sooooo badly… I would have done ANYTHING to get her back… and I’ve told myself…

“Ok this is the last text I’m going to send her. If she doesn’t reply… tough”

Only to think a little while later…

“That text wasn’t worded very well. I’ll just send another…”

Getting an ex-boyfriend back into your life (or ex-girlfriend for that matter)… really isn’t that difficult… if you can control your emotions.

“Controlling your emotions is the biggest challenge you will have… if you want your ex-boyfriend to chase you”

If you can talk to your ex-boyfriend without getting emotional… you will find it much easier to get him to chase you… and to get him back into your life.

Because when you are feeling emotional… you brain activity is high… and your ability to think is low… and you will make mistakes.

If you are calm and your emotions are under control… your brain activity will be much lower… and your ability to think will be raised… and you will make far fewer mistakes.

That been said… you don’t want to become un-emotional…

The Great Contradiction…

The foundation of a relationship is your emotional connection with your boyfriend. If you were to ignore your emotions and just focus on logic… it will be impossible for you to form any kind of connection with anybody… especially your ex.

(This is a problem I have always had. Being a very logical person… I find it difficult to ‘connect’ with other people).

It is the emotional connection or the feelings you both felt towards each other… which caused you and your ex to want to be together in the first place. So you must never ignore how you feel…

This is why you must control your emotions. Only let them come to the surface when it’s appropriate.

Otherwise… keep them under control.

How to Get Your Ex to Chase You

This is a huge topic… I’m going to shrink down to small bite size chunks.

First I’m going to go over a few basic principles… then move on the core of this article.

Don’t Become a Text Stalker (or any other type of stalker)

Most women in a break up situation act emotionally… and they tend to want to (or actually do) fire off text after text… to their ex-boyfriend.

If he replies… great… but if he doesn’t… you are stalking him.

If you want him to chase you… and you keep texting him… he will never chase you… because you are chasing him.

With regard to texting… be aware of these factors:

1 – The number of messages sent.

2 – How long each message is.

3 – The time delay between each message.

4 – The exact content of each message.

5 – Who texts who the most.

Here’s what you must never do…

“Never bombard your ex with long emotional messages… one after the other…”

Your goal is to keep the frequency of your texts and the emotional content of your texts… the same as when you were going out with him.

You don’t want him to feel like you are chasing him.

Try and keep the text ratio 1:1. Send one text reply to each of his.

Don’t be the one who always starts a text conversation.

Now… I’ll tell you why it isn’t too difficult to get your ex to chase you. Think back to when you and your ex were ‘just talking’… and not going out. I’m guessing he was chasing you more than you were chasing him.

Now… something about you he really liked… so much so… he decided to chase you. Whatever it was that he liked about you is still there… so the ‘reason’ he has for chasing you is still there…

All you need to do is to introduce a…

New Irresistible Ingredient…

If you haven’t read my article on how to become an irresistible woman… click here.

How to be an irresistible woman

You need to add one more… just one… quality to your looks or personality… which will make you more attractive in his eyes.

You see… we are all automatically magnetically drawn to something that’s new.

Which of these has more appeal…

The old Apple iPhone

The new Apple iPhone

The last season’s fashion

The new season’s fashion

The man who’s worked in the office for twenty-two years

The new man in the office

If your ex thinks it’s just the same old you… he won’t be interested in chasing you… but… if he realises there is something NEW about you… well… now you are much more appealing to him.

Every new relationship has a honeymoon period… where everything is great and almost nothing goes wrong.

Have you ever wondered why this honeymoon period occurs?

It’s because everything is NEW.

The honeymoon period ends… because it isn’t new anymore. Then reality dawns… and you see all the fault’s and flaw’s he has... and you magnify everything he says and does to see if he’s really worth committing to.

Men do exactly the same thing.

Be Very Patient

It can take time to get your ex-boyfriend to chase you… so you must be patient. I know it’s not easy to have to wait for something you want badly… but rushing this… risks screwing everything up.

There are two types of patience. Patience during the no contact period… and patience during the contact period.

The No Contact Period

One of the most popular topic’s on this site is the no contact period. If you haven’t yet read my article on it… I suggest you do.

The no contact rule explained

The no contact rule is where you, for thirty consecutive days… have no contact with your ex. No texting, ringing, e-mailing etc…

If he contacts you… ignore him.

The no contact rule is very important if you want your ex to chase you. Because you need to control your emotions… you need to get him out of your mind as much as you can. Removing him from your life for thirty days will help you do this.

The vast majority of women I’ve talked with about the no contact rule… admit they failed to last thirty days. One women explained why…

“David… I love him so completely… that when he left me it felt like he took a piece of me with him… and I will do anything to get that piece back”

Being emotional towards your ex is like having really bad breath or strong BO. It pushes him away from you… instead of attracting him towards you.

One of the many benefits of the no contact rule is… it gives him time to miss you… and gives you time to calm down and get your thoughts together.

Another fact I have uncovered over the twenty-nine years of helping people… is… older women are more patient than younger women.

I think it’s because forty years ago… the pace of life was a lot slower. Back then… there were no fast food restaurants, fewer shops… people cooked their own and their family’s meals… made their own clothes instead of just going to a shop to buy them.

I remember my mum actually knitting clothes to wear!

Today people want it NOW… so younger people have less patience than older people.

Patience When You Talk to Him

After the no contact period… when you are talking or texting him… don’t expect instant results.

Most women try to force the issue…

For example… after the thirty day no contact period… you follow the instructions given here… and you have got a text message conversation going with your ex.

If you want too much too soon… instead of been patient… you will blow it and drive him further away from you.

So… how exactly do you get him to chase you?

By using the Zeigarnik effect.

Over the years… I’ve read sixty-five books on Psychology.

Bluma Zeigarnik was a Russian psychologist. She discovered that we all hate incompleteness.

Have you ever watched a soap opera? Those long running TV shows whose story line runs for years, or in some cases decades?

Millions of people watch these every day.

There is one primary reason why soap operas are so popular.


The show is never complete. Every episode has a dramatic ending, forcing you to watch the next episode so you can find out what happens.

Something like..…. It’s 11 o’clock at night and the doorbell rings. Shocked, Gregg gets up, walks into the kitchen, unlocks the door, opens the door to reveal…… a 17 year old girl stood there with a suitcase.

“Hi. Are you Gregg?” asks the 17 year old girl

“Yes I am” answers Gregg

“Remember 17 years ago when you had unprotected sex with Suzy on Miami Beach?” asks the 17 years old girl

“Erm……” mumbles Gregg

“Well…… I’m Rachel…… your daughter!” announces the 17 year old girl

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo” screams Gregg

You feel compelled to watch the next episode to find out who was Suzy, how did they meet, how did they split up, how did Rachel find Gregg, why did she want to find Gregg………….

As humans we need closure. We don’t like open patterns or unanswered questions.

So… in all text message conversations… you both text until one of you has nothing more to say… and the conversation ends.

To get your ex to chase you… text message conversations have to end on a cliff hanger… thus leaving him wanting more… leaving him incomplete.

Now you can’t do this with every conversation… do it just enough to keep him wanting more.

The easiest way to do this… is part way through a good text conversation… is to say…

“Shit…I’m late. I’ll text you tomorrow around lunch time.”

Or… part way through a good text conversation… go silent for half an hour… then text back with…

“Sorry about that… had to answer the landline.”

Then continue the conversation.

The half an hour gap will leave him wondering…

“Was it something I said?”


“Why has she stopped texting?”

When you re-start the conversation… he will be eagerly texting you back.

Here’s what to do now

First… download a copy of my Case Study… where you will discover how my ex-girlfriend Sarah got me back after six months apart.

You will also discover how to get the very important first date with your ex-boyfriend… where he wants to meet up with you. Even if you have already met up with him since your break-up… he most likely wasn’t ready to crawl through broken glass to see you.

This case study shows you how to make him WANT to see you again.


Next… after your successful first date… you must escalate from meeting for a simple cup of coffee and a chat… to dating him again. You do this by…

Changing how he feels about you…

I’ve got a simple four step system for you to copy… which is based on how my ex Sarah got me back into her life.


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