Genuine reasons for wanting him back in your life

By David Coates

It is important you have a genuine reason for wanting your ex back in your life… so important… that without a valid reason… it’s unlikely I will be able to truly help you get him back.

Because without a genuine reason… you are likely to fail in the long term. You may get him back… but you will only break up again pretty quickly.

Over the past twenty-nine years… I’ve seen and helped about one hundred and seventy couples get back together… but quite a few did break up again a few months after… because they didn’t have a good reason to get back together in the first place.

If you read the pages in this site and do as I suggest, you are almost guaranteed to get him back… and… for the first few months things will be great between you two.

But… in the long term… your relationship with him could fail. A successful relationship must be built on a solid foundation, must be built on the rocks, not on the sand… where it can be washed away by the waves of disagreements, and all the other ups and downs a relationship has to endure.

I wrote this article… to save you from having to experience the pain of a second break-up with the same man.

So… before you jump in head first and do whatever is necessary to get him back… I ask you to first read this page… and then decide if you do have a valid reason for wanting him back in your life.

How to Define a Genuine Reason

Before I tell you some of the good reasons for wanting him back, and bad reasons for wanting him back… here is a quick guide.

It isn’t always easy to correctly define a genuine reason, since your circumstances are going to be unique to you… however… here are some guidelines to help you decide if you do have a genuine reason.

1 – If you want him back because you are desperate or lonely, or you think you can’t do any better than him… this is NOT a good reason.

Because… to get him back into your life… you have to tell him WHY you want him back.

How will he respond if you say to him…

“Hi Steve. I want you back in my life because I’m lonely, desperate and I don’t think I can do better than you”

Is he really going to say…

“Oh Janet. I feel so good you’ve told me that and you have convinced me that I should forgive you for dumping me and lets get back together again…….”


2 – A genuine reason… is one which he can understand. It must have real substance, and you can sit him down and explain it to him in depth.

A quick thirty second explanation isn’t good enough. It must be a detailed explanation in which he can truly understand.

We men have logical minds… we don’t really understand feelings like you do. You have to explain things to us in terms WE can understand.

Examples of Bad Reasons

1 – You feel you will die without him

2 – Your life revolved around him and you feel so empty without him

3 – You can’t do any better than him

4 – You believe it will be different the next time

You feel you Will Die without Him

Really? This is an exaggeration. Wanting someone back feels bad… I know. But… it isn’t fatal. This may describe how you feel, but it won’t motivate him to wanting you back.

Your Life Revolved Around Him

You may think it did, but was he the ONLY person in your life? No family, friends. Work colleagues?

If this is how you feel, then your life lacks balance. A balanced life is where your life ‘revolves’ around lots of different people.

Imagine how much pressure he felt, knowing your life revolves around him?

You Can’t Do Any Better

Maybe this is true, there’s no way for me or you to know for sure… but… by thinking like this you are devaluing yourself… and making yourself feel unhappy, unwanted, unattractive, undesired… all the feelings a woman DOESN’T want to have.

I would suggest that low self-esteem is causing you to feel like this.

Low self-esteem is caused by your feeling like you are not good enough, or not worthy. You have been measuring yourself to something external… and you have decided you are lacking.

I’ve got one thing to say about that…

Whatever or whoever it is you have been comparing yourself to… you aren’t supposed to be like them.

You are supposed to be like YOU… and in that respect… you are an example of perfection.

I suggest you stop comparing yourself… and simply be the best version of YOU as you possibly can.

It’s Going to be Different Next Time

Could you give your ex a long detailed explanation WHY it’s going to be different next time? Is he going to comply one hundred per cent with your vision of a new relationship with him?

Only if you can answer ‘yes’ to both questions… is this a genuine reason. Otherwise… it isn’t.

Great Reasons to Get Back Together

1 – The break up was a quick decision or you weren’t thinking properly at the time.

2 – Most of the time you were together… you were BOTH genuinely happy.

3 – You both have the same vision… of how you want your life to be.

4 – You are both compatible.

These are examples of good reasons to get back together… because… if you tell him any of these reasons… he will respond positively to them.

The quick hasty breakup

We all say or do things… which we regret later. Usually this is when you are angry or upset, and you react to things on impulse… instead of thinking about it.

This is because when you are angry or worked up… you brain activity is very high… and your ability to think and reason stuff out is seriously compromised.

When you have had chance to ‘cool off’… your brain activity falls down to a normal level… and your ability to think straight returns.

Then it’s…

“Why the f*** did I say that”


“Why did I do that”

If the reason for the break up was simply a single event, or one specific problem which doesn’t continue all the way through your relationship… then it wasn’t a valid reason for a break up.

So here, you do have grounds to get back together with him.

Most of the Time You Were Happy

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every couple has a valid reason to argue or disagree or want to improve the other person in the relationship.

But, if one of these valid reasons erupts and explodes into a huge argument which causes the breakup… that’s kinda silly.

At the time it’s very serious… but after the dust settles… and reality dawns… it isn’t a valid reason to end an otherwise good relationship.

So here you do have genuine grounds to get him back into your life.

You Both Have the Same Vision

If you want three children… and he wants to join the Army and become a full time soldier… you both have a very different vision for the future.

However… if you both want a four bedroomed house, two children, stable career nine till five jobs… then you both have the same vision for the future.

This is also a good reason for wanting to get back together.


Similar to the above. The more areas of your lives you are both compatible… the stronger your case for getting back together.

Here’s what to do now

First… download a copy of my Case Study… where you will discover how my ex-girlfriend Sarah got me back after six months apart.

You will also discover how to get the very important first date with your ex-boyfriend… where he wants to meet up with you. Even if you have already met up with him since your break-up… he most likely wasn’t ready to crawl through broken glass to see you.

This case study shows you how to make him WANT to see you again.


Next… after your successful first date… you must escalate from meeting for a simple cup of coffee and a chat… to dating him again. You do this by…

Changing how he feels about you…

I’ve got a simple four step system for you to copy… which is based on how my ex Sarah got me back into her life.


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